The number thirteen carries with it symbolic connotations unique to no other digit. Widely recognized as unlucky, to the point of constructing entire buildings that omit the number altogether, it represents a superstitious unit of fear. Thirteen similarly represents coming of age, as seen in the Jewish Bar Mitzvah and in the syntax of the word itself, transcending childhood to become “adolescent” (eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, etc.). Such idiosyncrasies of the number thirteen manifest themselves in Lyn Hejinian's thirteenth section which outlines the thirteenth year of her life in the poetic autobiography My Life. In it, Hejinian explores metonymic associations regarding the simplicity of childhood, expressly through images of animals and children at play, and effectively contrasts such connections with the suddenly self-conscious fear and confusion of adolescence, illustrating his unique account of pubescent awkwardness . Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an Original Essay Hejinian's uses of animals in this excerpt all serve a metonymic role that effectively illuminates the disparity between childhood and adolescence. Seemingly youthful and innocent symbols of childhood are strongly juxtaposed with more adult themes, almost as if they are told from the point of view of a harsh and self-conscious teenager, as in: “The swan is a bitch. He was so comfortable that his bad manners were graceful… Poor ducks in this cold.” Here Hejinian alludes to the popular children's story, "The Ugly Duckling," but turns the moral of the tale into a crude and more pessimistic perspective, throwing the ducks out into the cold for pity and referring to the swan as an adult. the word "whore". Hejinian rarely lapses into vulgarity in much of the autobiography, making "bitch" function ironically, as cynicism from his thirteen-year-old perspective rather than personally. It brings to mind the character's insecurities, as she notes that the swan "was so casual that his bad manners were graceful." Paralyzing self-consciousness becomes a clear issue with the play's narrator, who admits that "I felt self-sufficient except in my feelings, to which I was always vulnerable, always in relation to someone else." “The Ugly Duckling” is also a story that primarily revolves around development; everyone starts out as ducklings, the lucky ones end up becoming beautiful swans, others simply end up becoming “chubby birds”. This exact notion of starting the same way and developing differently is echoed earlier in the passage, when the narrator notes “As for us who “love wonder, “a moth has more flesh than a butterfly could lift.” Again, animal development proves pertinent to understanding the transition's connection to human maturation, as the narrator suggests by saying "I may have begun incorrectly, I thought, short-sighted compared to a buttercup." Moths and butterflies have stages of well-defined development; both begin as caterpillars, form cocoons, and grow in one or the other, drawing a parallel with the maturation of children to adolescents. Moths are invariably considered pests, while butterflies are generally considered beautiful, often chased by children as they play, making butterflies a symbol of attractiveness and moths seeming unwanted and ugly In addition to being clearly less desirable, the moth “has more meat than a butterfly could lift,” presumably building a corollary to self-conscious anxiety. for problems., 2002.