The math just doesn't add up." It also sounds a little off the nose. On page 40, Adam Glass also seems invented and summarizes the information: "Let's get started with what we all know!" His voice is also dark and sounds unnatural. On page 44, Marcus tends to repeat information that the audience already knows. The overall tension could be more compelling with a stronger and more effective structure in which Marcus is more proactive in trying to track down King and save the hostages. At this moment the tension is not very convincing. Make sure that each ends with strong tension and that the tension escalates as the plot progresses The formula of the series is clear. Marcus will track down King. There are small typos: the name Jasmine is used twice (a maid and the FBI Agent Jasmine Li.) The word elderly is misspelled (scene 11). You don't need scene numbers if it's a specific script. The first act should actually start separately