“But Miss Star, I really have to go. If you don't let me go now, I'll be gone in my pants." "Okay Joseph. You can leave in a few minutes.” «It's been a few minutes. Can I go now?" "Wait a minute more, Joseph! Someone is already in the bathroom." I stood there and looked at the clock for a few minutes. "Okay. A minute has passed. You can go now." “I don't have to go anymore.” After bathroom break I took my third graders, including Joseph, outside to play kickball. Not even five minutes had passed before he was at my side again. “Miss Star. I just got into my pants. "I looked down at Joseph and saw a wet spot slowly forming on the front of his pants. When he started crying, out of embarrassment and the fact that his pants were wet at nine years old, I realized that maybe it wasn't that was the time to exercise my power. As a camp counselor, I had to find a middle ground between friendship and authority. On the first day of camp I decided that I would be the nicest counselor none of my third graders. I let them do that that they wanted and didn't get in trouble (at least on my part). BAD IDEA!!! When it came time to engage on issues like Joseph, it didn't work out very well. “Miss Star, I really have to go there again.” “No Joseph. You just left.” We were in the hallway arguing back and forth with fifteen other kids who were staring at us. They were amazed to see me, Star, actually angry at someone. “Joseph, shut up and get out of my face! I don't want to hear another word from you today and you will never be able to go to the bathroom again!” Not the best way to handle the situation, right? If only I had set some ground rules early on and let the kids know they couldn't step on me, this probably wouldn't have happened. The situation I just described may be closely related to the situation in Christian Zawodniak's essay, "I'll Have to Help Some of You More Than I'd Like”.